Sunday, February 27, 2011

Thought-Theatre: El Matto

This one's actually about my brother. He was about 10 or 11 at the time, making me 5 or 6. Maybe we were even younger.

There was a small pathway near the entrance of the road leading to the part of Huntingfield where we lived. There was (probably not anymore) a wooden fence which divided the property next to it. All of a sudden, I started seeing "El Matto" spraypainted on it. I knew it was my brother.

I think I asked him about it, and he said it wasn't him. He even insisted that we sneak out one night to try and catch the culprit. That never came to pass - sadly, because I wanted to sneak out!

Eventually, he got caught. I'm not sure how; but maybe I ratted him out and mum knew it was obviously him. Mum and dad were furious at him. I remember to apologise he had a long strip on paper (at least 2 metres long), and he wrote "XOXO" all the way down it and handed it to mum in the section of our house separating the kitchen and lounge room.

The question arose of how he actually got the spraypaint and why he did it. I actually asked mum about this a few days ago, and she said it wasn't actually illegal to sell spraypaint to minors back then. He bought it from Mitre 10 (which was about a 5 minute walk from our house - it was, and still is known as "The Fork in the Road" because of the huge fork out the front). He told the saleman/lady it "was a present for Grandad". He said he did it to be like Bart Simpsons, because his trademark was "El Barto". Television is way to impressionable on kids, these days.

Thought-Theatre: Mario Party

It was my birthday and I was turning either 5, 6, or 7. I was having a costume party, and of course, I wanted to go as Mario. So, I wore my red shirt, my overalls with heart buttons, and my blue Pokemon hat (for some reason I used to think I looked like Mario in it). For the moustache, I drew it on with a face crayon, or whatever they are called.

I remember mum wondering how we would actually get the moustache on me. She then said that the little after-school care (held in the school hall at Illawarra Primary) had face crayons. I remember going there one afternoon with mum and Matt.

It was about 15 minutes before my friends were arriving at my house. My mum decided to start drawing on the moustache (we were in the living room, when the couch was facing the wall). She drew it on just like Mario's, but instead it didn't curve upwards like his did. I made a fuss about that, and she fixed it.

The next I remember of that day is that all of my friends were at my house and we went outside to pile into dad's work bus (a Metro bus - the best in the business) that he borrowed just for me. I have no idea where we went (I'm thinking either minigolf, Maccas, or Pizza Hut).

The last part I remember of that day is riding home down the street/highway near that drive-in bottleshop and where I used to do swimming lessons - around the corner from a hospital and car sales place. I remember every one of my friends were jumping around the bus, and I was hanging from the bar you hold on to if you're standing up.

They never do birthdays like that anymore...

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Thought-Theatre: Nintendo Nostalgia

Speaking of vacation care, one day we were there and there was this kid playing Super Mario 64. He was up to the boss of the first ever level. He had troble beating it. I told him that I could do it. He seemed to be pissed off at the idea that a six year old would even suggest such a ridiculous thing. I then tried to seek out my brother so he could back up my story that I could, and had, beaten it with ease.

Thought-Theatre: Wild Graveler Appeared!

It was a regular school day when we were riding the bus home. There was this kid called Isaac who had heaps of Pokemon cards and I was always jealous because I didn't have that many. That day on the bus, he dropped all of his cards, and we helped him pick them up. But, I saw a card I had never seen before (a Graveler), and I decided to sneakily put it in my bag/pocket (I forget which one).

When I got home, I took it out to add it to my collection. But then karma hit me, and I couldn't find my cards. But then I found them, like, the next day or something.

The moral of the story is: don't steal. Unless you can do it sneakily and get away with it - like I did!

Thought-Theatre: The "C" Word

So, when I was a little tacker, I used to go to the little park thing was just about a 10 second walk from my house (over the hedge that they cut down) - whether I had had a shower or not.

I remember there used to be a kid that lived down the street from me who used to give me shit. One fond memory I have of this kid was when I was playing in the park in my pyjamas (wearing my fluffy blue dressing gown), and I got embarrassed/shy whenever people walked near me. The kid walked up to me, and in order to hide the fact I was playing Mario Kart by myself, I started picking leaves off a tree. He was with an older boy and I think a younger person (a girl, I believe). He started talking to me; and he said about 2 things - I think it was "How ya going?" and "What are ya doing?". Then out of nowhere he just asks me "...picking leaves to wipe your ass, hey, ya c*nt?". Before I could reply, his older person (whoever it was) said "Come on [insert kid's name here] [insert whatever he said next here]". They then left, and I think I went home.

I encountered this bastard other times, but I forget them. Kids can be so cruel.

Thought-Theatre: Sophie

I was 7 once. There was a blonde girl that caught my bus sometimes; and I guess you could say I had a bit of a crush on her. I think her name was Sophie, but it could have been Sarah or something completely different. But as far as this blog post goes, she'll be known as Sophie. She was about my age, or maybe a year or so older.

I don't know exactly what attracted me to her - probably just the random infactuation any seven year old gets. One day, and I don't even know how it happened, she started talking to me. It ended up leading to her inviting me over to her house. I was there for about 5 or 10 minutes, before I bailed because she was getting yelled at for making herself tomato sauce sandwiches so close to dinner time.

It might not have been the same day, but we were out on the road near the ol' park shooting foam bullets (similar to Nerf bullets) at a tree for some reason. I think I had that gun and she had my weird, cheapo laser-sound gun.

And they are my only memories of her, asside from her bleach-blonde hair.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thought-Theatre: Vacation Care

Back when I used to go to "vacation care", which my mum now tells me was actually on the grounds of a real school, I was 6 or 7, and my brother must have been about 11 or 12. We used to go there in the school holidays because mum and dad both had to work. It was sort of like day care, but for "older" kids. I want to try and explain everything that was there, but I don't know where to begin.

I'll start by describing a day I remember very clearly...

The first bit I can remember of that day, is that we were driving in our old dark blue Toyota, just turned left at the round-about near a church (if you turned right you would see a Shell petrol station and eventually come to Illawarra Primary School). I was wearing my blue flanny shirt, because Alan from Jumanji wore them, I also felt like him wearing it. When you came close to the entrance, there was a much smaller day-care centre for smaller kids (like, 3 and 5 years old or something), and a playground that we used to play on sometimes.

I don't remember actually driving in the entrance. The next bit I remember is that we got out of the car, and we were talking about something that I don't remember. We were walking down the pine-bark path. When I was that young it seemed like a really long walk, but in reality it was probably only about 10m long.

Actually, as I type this I start to think that I used to go here before I started school - because I have memories there when my brother didn't even go there.


When you got to the door, I can't remember exactly if there were stairs to the door, a sideways ramp, or both. I think it was both. Anyway, inside I can vaguely remember how it was set out:

^ You stand at the door. To the left, there were hooks for your bags, and next to those hooks was a doorway leading into the kitchen area. Straight ahead you could see the TV for the Nintendo 64 in the corner (but when I first went there with my brother, the N64 was in the kitchen, and I had a Pokeball in my hand - as you do - and one of the kids said to me "Hey, you like Pokemon? C'mon, they're playing Pokemon in here", and he lead me to the kitchen area where 2 kids were playing Free Battle on Pokemon Stadium. I remember clearly that the only Pokemon I remember being used was a Zapdos). I'm not sure if there was a couch area straight ahead, THEN the N64/games corner, or not. If you walked straight ahead, then turned right, there was a room with a TV, VHS player, and a couch or 2. Then, there was a room linking the kitchen area and that TV room with games and sport equipment in there, but for some reason none of that was ever used. There was a Foosball table in there.


^^ The rectangle with nothing in it on the right was the games room no one ever used, and the red thing in it is the possible door that was there. All of the red rectangles are where doorways were. The blue thing is there the bag hooks were.

I remember that everything used to me moved around a lot, because I have memories of the N64 being in 3 different places, and for some reason in the TV room there was a SNES with a strange controller where the big couch was - but facing the wall.

Outside there was a sandpit, 2 playgrounds, an alley way leading to a road, a walkway to the carpark/entrance, and stairs leading to a basketball court.


The stuff inside the red line means all of that was raised (above ground).

Where those random buildings were, I'm not sure exactly what they were. I'm sure they were a part of the school we were on, but I don't actually remember what they look like or how you could even go inside them. But I do remember that for some reason we were all there and some bigger girls gave us minties and tried to teach us how to make mintie chains or whatever you call them - you know, there you rip up the mintie wrapper into a long line.

Then, we reach the carpark (though, ironically we should have been starting with this). I don't remember too much of it. But actually, as I typed that I just remember that there were 3 playgrounds, but I don't remember how to access the one I'm thinking of.


And that's pretty much the basics of it. I plan to write as much as I can about my childhood. So stay tuned! Or, whatever you do on blogs....

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Pokemon Skit Idea

Last blog post was January 25? LOL @ the fact you can't stick to anything you say you will, Jake.

So, I've had a YouTube account for almost a year and I haven't really done anything with it. For ages I've been thinking about doing a skit where I parody the Pokemon games and anime (for those who are familiar with it, you will know what I mean by what I say below). I borrowed his Ash Ketchum costume ages ago when I was going to do it, but never got around to it (obviously).

I am making a pact now - I will do it as soon as I have the time after my birthday. Why my birthday? Because that's when I get a tripod for my camcorder, which was one of the reasons I didn't do it earlier.

Right now I'm just going to jot down the ideas I have for it. This isn't really a blog post for anyone except myself for self-documentation. Feel free to leave your own suggestions if you have any. If not, ignore the rest of the stuff on the page.

(BY THE WAY, NOT EVERY IDEA WILL BE PUT INTO THE FINAL VIDEO)

- walk around with no curved turns
- start walking up stairs, automatically appear at the top
- continue to walk into a wall normally
- put loads of effort into throwing the Pokeball having it go almost nowhere
- converse with someone, however you say no words, and they still understand you
- tie shoelaces, but curse because you can't do it
- tell your mum you're leaving, but it turns out she's a dropkick and tells you to walk out just like your father
- Professor Oak is a pedophile (c'mon, he would be)
- find big ball, pick up big ball, shows you picked up a small Pokeball
- walk around - have people laugh at you for how stupid your clothes look
- drop Pokemon egg, run away
- robber comes out of window, accuses of being Team Rocket, shoots and runs off
- try and use bike, then Oak's words echoed - freak out
- confront rival, discuss that your Pokemon will take turns in attacking
- reference the 30 Tauros you were never seen catching outside of Japan
- reference the constant phone calls from [girl] saying her Maril evolved
- deny access to Game Corner because you're a minor, yet you are let in because you have a coin case
- cat talks like Meowth